This article covers why it’s important to recognize negative patterns in relationships, and how they tie back to past abuse. It also describes complex PTSD and breaks down how you can find success in a relationship while overcoming past abuse.
What Is Emotional Abuse?
According to Anderson, emotional abuse can result in effects that mirror those of severe traumatic incidents. All forms of abuse can lead to post-traumatic stress disorder. While it’s easy to identify physical and sexual abuse, emotional abuse can be hard to see, especially when you’re in the thick of it. Anderson explains a couple of reasons why it can be so hard to identify. “First off, it’s often what they [my clients] grew up with, [emotional abuse is] all they’ve known, and [it] becomes normalized,” says Anderson. “Secondly, it is often experienced as what I call an invisible wound. If I can’t see it or experience it physically in my body, such as a bruise or broken bone, then it must not be real.” Anderson notes that emotional abuse can also include neglect and a lack of love from others. Emotional abandonment, where a caregiver is physically present but emotionally absent, can lead to emotional trauma. He further explains that emotional abuse takes place in the context of relationships and often involves a parent early on in life. This is known as a relational violation and is often referred to as complex PTSD.
What Is Complex PTSD?
While, complex PTSD (C-PTSD) is not an official diagnosis in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), The International Society for Traumatic Stress Studies (ISTSS) outlines the symptoms that comprise complex PTSD when paired with self-regulatory disturbances: By explaining the symptoms to his clients, Anderson “helps them link their past to the present day and paves the way toward healing the abuse and developing healthy relationships in their lives moving forward.”
Emotional Abuse and Future Relationships
First and foremost, there is a link between people who experienced abuse—emotional, physical, or sexual—in childhood, and those who have unhealthy romantic or intimate relationships. This means that people who have experienced abuse are more likely to end up in relationships that are abusive later in life. One theory is that the person is attempting to create a similar situation to handle it differently and break the pattern. Unfortunately, this usually results in the person finding themselves in a romantic relationship that is abusive. Anderson works with patients to make sure that they recognize signs of emotional abusers in future relationships. He recommends Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy for many of his patients that have experienced emotional abuse. This form of therapy focuses on healing the emotional wounds that were created by past relationships. Once someone has addressed this, people are less likely to reenact unhealthy relationship patterns later in life.
Treatment Methods and Coping Mechanisms for Complex PTSD
Bessel van der Kolk, a psychiatrist and researcher best known for writing “The Body Keeps the Score,” notes in a paper that complex PTSD requires what he refers to as phase-oriented treatment. He breaks this down into six phases, all of which could require different types of medications and therapies. Phase six addresses coping mechanisms, however you can find all of the phases below:
A Word From Verywell
By working with a therapist, it is possible to overcome PTSD that you’re experiencing as a result of emotional abuse. Remember that it’s easy to fall back into old relationship patterns, and while you may have to work to recognize this pattern in your life, you will definitely be happier once you’ve addressed your trauma.
