This article explores the different types of mental abuse, signs that someone is being abused, the impact of mental abuse, and some coping strategies that may be helpful for people who have been abused.

Types of Mental Abuse

These are some of the different types of mental abuse:

Bullying Intimidation Coercion Harassment Ridicule Humiliation  Controlling behaviors Gaslighting  Attempts to isolate the person from their friends or family Verbal displays of anger, such as yelling or swearing 

The nature of mental abuse can vary across different types of relationships. Intimate partner abuse and child abuse are among the most common.

Intimate Partner Abuse

These are some examples of what mental abuse by intimate partners can look like:

Wanting to know where you are and what you’re doing at all times Expecting you to report your activities and remain in constant contact Making decisions for you, often without consulting you Cutting you off from your friends and family Keeping you from going to school or work Discouraging you from going to the doctor or getting medical help Acting jealous or accusing you of being unfaithful Insulting you or calling you names Humiliating you in front of other people Treating you like a child Controlling your finances or monitoring how you spend money Getting angry and yelling or swearing at you Blaming you for their anger and outbursts Threatening you, or your friends, family members, or pets Deliberately frightening you Threatening to report you to the authorities, sometimes under false pretenses Threatening to harm themselves in an attempt to control you

Mental abuse by intimate partners can start suddenly and come as a surprise. For instance, abusers may initially be very attentive, pay you a lot of compliments, and shower you with love and attention. However, they may slowly start to control your life and become abusive.  You may find yourself making excuses for their behavior, thinking it’s your fault, or feeling embarrassed or foolish for entering into a relationship with them. However, it’s important to remember that being abused is not your fault.

Child Abuse

These are some examples of what mental abuse of children can look like:

Criticizing the child constantlyBlaming the child for problemsTalking down to the child and humiliating themThreatening to abandon the child or hurt themFailing to provide a safe and stable environment for the childExposing the child to severe abuse or violence among family membersNeglecting the child and showing no concern for them

Child abuse can sometimes be hard to detect, making it hard for people to recognize it and help the child. Children who grow up in abusive or violent households may believe that it’s a normal way for family members to treat each other and in turn display abusive and violent tendencies in school or in intimate relationships as adults.

Impact of Mental Abuse

Being in abusive situation can cause you to:

Feel helpless and powerless Be scared and afraid of upsetting your abuser Feel guilty and ashamed Feel stressed and overwhelmed Feel useless and unwanted Lack confidence in yourself Feel used, manipulated, or controlled Question your reality and your memory of events Alter your behavior in order to keep the peace and avoid upsetting them

Signs of Mental Abuse

These are some of the signs that someone is being emotionally abused:

Being extremely agitated or upset  Withdrawing and refusing to communicate or respond Acting scared or nervous around certain people Displaying unusual behaviors generally associated with dementia, such as rocking, biting, or sucking

Coping With Mental Abuse

These are some strategies that can help you if you are or have been in an abusive situation:

Seek help and support: Victims of abuse are often too scared or ashamed to tell others about the abuse. However, it’s important to reach out to a friend, family member, therapist, or organization that can offer help, support, or protection.  Write down your experiences: Abusers often gaslight their victims and make them doubt their reality. It can be helpful to write down your version of events so you have a record of what really happened. Don’t blame yourself: You may blame yourself for what happened to you or think that you did something to cause it or deserve it, but you need to remember that if someone has abused you, it’s their fault and not yours. Remind yourself of this fact over and over again if you need to. Refuse to engage your abuser: If you are in a situation where you need to interact with your abuser, step back and refuse to engage with them on any level. Recognize unhealthy patterns: If you have grown up in an abusive home or been in an abusive relationship, emotionally abusive behaviors may seem normal to you and you may seek them out or perpetuate them in other relationships. It’s important to break the cycle by recognizing unhealthy patterns and working toward healthier relationships with mutual trust, respect, affection, and independent agency.

A Word From Verywell

Mental abuse doesn’t leave cuts and bruises but it can cause deep emotional wounds as well as physical and mental health issues that can take time to heal. It can be helpful to seek therapy or join a support group in order to develop coping mechanisms and connect with others who have faced similar experiences.