What Constitutes Self-Harm?
Self-harm describes any deliberate action intended to cause physical pain. Adolescent males engage in this behavior too, but it is most often females who hurt their bodies in an attempt to deal with difficult feelings or situations. Cutting or scratching the skin with razor blades or other sharp objects is the most common form of self-injury. Other ways to self-harm include:
Burning the skin with a cigarette, match or lighterHitting the chest or extremitiesBanging the head against the wallPulling hair from the head, or other placesRe-opening or picking at woundsBiting or pinching the skin
Why Do Teens Cut Themselves?
Teens who hurt themselves aren’t crazy and their self-injury doesn’t mean they’re suicidal. Instead, it just means they’re having trouble coping with their pain in a healthy manner. It also provides a sense of control. A teen who engages in self-injury is likely to feel like they can control the pain better. In addition, the injury releases endorphins into the bloodstream, which also provides a temporary boost of mood. So a stressed-out teen may cut their arms as a way to relieve stress. Or a teen who is struggling to deal with a breakup may cut their chest as a way to experience physical pain, as opposed to just emotional pain.
How to Help a Teen Who Self-Harms
You may see scratches or cuts on a teen who is engaging in self-injury. You might notice bandages or your teen may wear long sleeves or cover their body even when it’s hot outside. For more mental health resources, see our National Helpline Database. If you suspect your teen is deliberately injuring themselves, it’s important to intervene. These steps can help you start a discussion and find them the professional help they need.
Ask your teen directly if they are engaging in self-harm. Often the direct approach is the most effective. Be clear that your goal is to help them, not to judge or punish Ask, “Did you make those cuts on your arm on purpose?” or “Are you hurting yourself?” Acknowledge your teen’s pain. Telling a teen to stop or passing judgment won’t be effective. Validate their feelings and express concern that they must be feeling really bad if they are hurting themselves. Identify activities your teen can do when they feel the urge to hurt themselves. Calling a friend, going for a walk, or drawing are just a few possible activities that could help your teen express their feelings in a healthier way. Take steps to change your teens’ self-harming behavior. Talk to your child’s pediatrician to gain a referral to a therapist. A mental health professional can teach your teen healthier ways to regulate their emotions. Help your teen create a list of people to talk to. Talking to trusted friends and family can help them cope with stress and reduce their self-injury. Make a list of caring adults your teen can reach out to, such as a grandparent, aunt or uncle, friends’ parents, or neighbors that your teen can confide in. Be patient with your teen. Self-harming behavior takes time to develop and will take the time to change. It is ultimately up to the teen to make the choice to help themselves.
With early identification, support from their family, and professional assistance, they can successfully stop self-harming.
How to Get Help
If your teenager is cutting or engaging in other forms of self-injury, it is important to seek professional help. Talk to a mental health professional who works with teens and understands the emotional challenges that lead to such behaviors. You might start by asking your child’s pediatrician for a referral. A mental health professional can evaluate your child and diagnose underlying medical conditions such as anxiety, depression, or bipolar disorder. Treatments may include psychotherapy, medication, or a combination of the two. Types of therapy that might be used include:
Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT): This type of therapy was originally developed to treat borderline personality disorder (BPD), but it has also been shown to be effective in the treatment of non-suicidal self-injury. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT): This type of therapy can help teens identify and change the negative thinking that contributes to cutting. It can also help people learn new coping skills to deal with stressful situations that might trigger cutting behaviors. Interpersonal therapy (IPT): This type of therapy focused on improving social interactions and interpersonal relationships to help improve depression symptoms. Family therapy: This approach involves strengthening family relationships and improving how family members relate to one another.
Medications may also be prescribed to treat symptoms of anxiety or depression. Some Lexapro (escitalopram), Prozac (fluoxetine), Cymbalta (duloxetine), and Zoloft (sertraline).
