While there may be beautiful memories of positive experiences with the loved one who has died, there may also be traumatic memories from negative experiences. For instance, they may have experienced distress seeing the loved one intoxicated or violent, financial problems which may have affected the family, as well as a possible history of physical, emotional or sexual abuse, legal problems, or other difficulties. The loss of a friend or family members from drugs is particularly painful if the person was young, and otherwise healthy. Despite the negativity, you can still find a way to be supportive to someone who has lost a loved to drug addiction. Try finding inspiration from the list of suggestions below.
Be available for phone callsGo for a visit to spend time with themRespond promptly to email messagesSend a card, letter, or flowers
Liberation or relief that the addict will no longer overshadow their life with the unpredictability and addiction Extreme sadness about what might have been if the deceased had gotten clean Guilt about the times they wished it could all be over Responsible for bringing about the death of their loved one
None of these feelings are wrong, and your acceptance will help your friend to process them. If the bereaved talk about how cruel and abusive the addicted person was, express concern for them, for example, by saying,“That must have been so hard for you,” rather than, “I don’t know why you put up with that idiot.”
babysittingpreparing a mealhelping with household chores
There may be additional practicalities to take care of, that can seem overwhelming to the bereaved, such as:
informing friends and family of the deathmaking arrangements for the funeraldealing with doctors, lawyers and inheritance issuesdealing with unresolved legal issues arising from the addiction, such as debt, or issues around the death from drugs itself
Don’t allow resentment to mount, and then vent to someone else about the bereaved person. If they find out, this may be more hurtful to the bereaved person than if you hadn’t tried to support them in the first place.
make statements to the police or to reporterstalk to doctors, funeral directors, and lawyersa court proceeding
Respect the bereaved wishes if they want to do these things alone.
