There are many reasons why you may find yourself alone on Valentine’s day. Maybe you’ve chosen to be single or are not interested in a relationship. It’s also possible that you’re single for reasons outside of your control. For instance, maybe you’re dealing with social anxiety disorder (SAD) and experience some fear in pursuing a romantic relationship. Whatever the reason, as Valentine’s Day approaches, you might be feeling feel like you’re the only person in the world without a partner. The best way to manage feelings of loneliness on this day involves shifting your focus, aiming to be happy with what you already have, and spending some time with yourself. Follow Now: Apple Podcasts / Spotify / Google Podcasts
Ignore Valentine’s Day
There is no rule that you need to celebrate or even acknowledge Valentine’s Day. However, don’t let social media, store displays, or stories of others make you feel bad about your relationship status. February 14th is just one day of the year. There is no reason why you can’t treat it as though it’s just another day.
Be Kind to Yourself
If you’d prefer not to ignore Valentine’s Day, you can decide to make it a day to treat yourself well. Try some of the following self-care strategies:
Eat your favorite foods Create a list of goals or intentions that you’d like to set for the day Engage in hobbies that you enjoy Sleep in late Take the day off work Write in a gratitude journal
Be Your Own Secret Admirer
On Valentine’s Day, you might start scrolling through social media and see all of the flowers and chocolates your coworkers, friends, and loved ones have received. But have you ever wondered if they might have sent them to themselves? If you feel really down about being alone on Valentine’s Day, go ahead and send yourself some flowers or your favorite candy to your place of work or your home. This gift will be special because you received it from someone who knows you best—you!
Avoid Love Triggers
Avoid watching romantic movies and listening to love songs because they may trigger even more feelings of loneliness on Valentine’s Day. If a relationship has recently ended or you deal with social anxiety disorder, these types of activities may elicit sadness and feelings of depression about being alone during this holiday. Try watching a new show or a different genre as Valentine’s Day approaches instead.
Make Other Plans
Plan a day revolving around a recreational activity or hobby unrelated to Valentine’s Day. For example, you might:
Go for a hikeSchedule some time to take a long, relaxing bubble bathOrder a meal from your favorite restaurantPlay your favorite video gameTry a new workout
Having plans to do something concrete will help to take your mind off the fact that you are single. This will give you time to shift your attention to yourself and relish your alone time. Plus, if you choose something memorable, then each year, you will have something to celebrate on that date that extends beyond Valentine’s Day.
Plan a Date With Single Friends
If you have single friends, plan a date night with them! Being in the company of others in the same situation will help to ease your loneliness. Be sure to keep the night upbeat. Activities that the group could do might include the following:
Play gamesWatch a movie togetherCook a meal or prepare cocktails together
In addition to feeling less lonely, spending some quality time with friends will keep your social skills strong and provide you with feelings of love on this day.
Reach Out to Someone
Take the opportunity to reach out to someone whom you haven’t spoken to in a while. That person might be a family member, a friend, or even a potential romantic interest You never know who might also be feeling lonely on Valentine’s Day. They may welcome the chance to catch up and connect.
Brighten Someone Else’s Day
Do you know someone who has recently lost a significant other? A small gift on Valentine’s Day would mean a lot and would make you feel good as well. Gift ideas might include:
Gift basket with tea, coffee, or other goodiesA promise of time spent togetherFlowersHomemade cookies or other treats
Keep Up Your Daily Routine
One of the best ways to deal with being alone on Valentine’s Day is to go about your daily routine:
Clean the houseGo grocery shoppingExerciseWalk your dogPrepare mealsGet some work done
Do whatever you would normally do that day of the week; this will help to make it seem like just another day of the year.
Play Cupid
Most people have never received a gift from a secret admirer. Consider anonymously sending a gift to someone in the same position as you. This doesn’t need to be someone you have a romantic interest in—simply someone you want to see smile. Include a note saying that you wanted to ‘pay it forward this Valentine’s Day.’ Gift ideas could include:
Books (with a special bookmark enclosed)CalendarsChocolates or candyFlowersGift cardsGourmet food basketsHomemade gifts
A Word From Verywell
Valentine’s Day can be a wonderful time if you are in a relationship but difficult if you find yourself alone. If you’re struggling with severe feelings of loneliness, it might be a good idea to reach out to a therapist. They can help you develop some healthy coping mechanisms. If you are spending this holiday alone, try to remind yourself of how wonderful you are and show yourself some compassion and love on Valentine’s Day.
